Anonymous
by MusicallyImagining
Summary: Set during New Moon. Bella didn't cope with the loss of her soul mate. So she lost everything. Slightly strange, yet not to strange. R


Anonymous

Disclaimer – I do not claim possession of any of the characters or settings mentioned in this story. They are the property of Stephanie Meyer.

Who am I?

My name is Isabella Marie Swan.

I am seventeen years old.

My mother's name is Renee.

My father's name is Charlie.

I am an only child.

I used to live in Phoenix.

I now live in Forks.

I had a boyfriend.

I lost a lifetime.

I can't answer that question.

When I was a little girl, I believed in princesses. I believed in unicorns, fairy dust, and my own piece of Neverland. I was just like any other girl.

When I was 10, I did ballet. I was never very good, but it didn't matter – much. When I was on stage, I saw my mother smiling. She made me believe that i was the prettiest girl in the room. The best dancer there ever was.

When I was fifteen, I had my first crush. I don't remember his name. I only remember that I didn't tell Renee. I couldn't. She wouldn't understand. I couldn't bear to get my heart broken, so i watched from a distance as he saw my best friend fall and hurt herself. He was the perfect gentleman. By the end of the week, they were a couple.

This year, everything was perfect. I had a home. A school. A group of friends. A second family. A soul mate. I was the happiest I had ever been. I had a secret, but it had never bothered me. I had been injured, but the only scars that remained were on the outside. I didn't need, couldn't want, anything outside of what I already had. Why should I?

Six months ago, I lost everything. Not literally. I knew, and still do know, that I have a home. A school. A group of friends.

I'm not quite sure where my second family went. All I know is that when my soul mate disappeared, so did they. Charlie says I didn't take it well. He says that once they were gone, I was too. I don't remember. Not all of it anyway. I do remember a scent. Two scents, actually. And two feels, two textures. Two sets of eyes. Two temperatures.

I can't describe the first scent. It was almost like heaven. The second scent was woodsy, musky, warm.

The first feel was hard, like marble or granite. It was smooth. There were no flaws. The second feel was soft. It was rough, but pleasantly so. There was a strength that was comfortingly warm.

The first set of eyes is golden. But they change. Each time I see them, they get darker, until they are pitch black. Bu then they lighten, and the cycle starts over. The second set of eyes is dark, but not black. They are comforting. They keep me warm.

The first temperature is cold. It chills me, like ice, but it isn't unpleasant. Ice in my hand on a Summer's day. The second temperature is hot. It almost burns, but it's too safe to harm me. A blanket as the sun sets in Autumn.

Sometimes, when I see these things, I can't breathe. I try so hard to remember more, but it's like a part of my memory has been erased. It scares me. It chills me to the bone. No-one can help me.

I sometimes wonder if the Sun and the Moon could be friends. The Sun always seems so bright, happy, energetic and bubbly. It shows off, trying to impress all of those it shines upon. It keeps us warm, it helps things grow. I couldn't live without it.

The Moon is dark and mysterious. It has a subtle strength that you know is there, but never see. It sits idly by, as though resigned to the fact that it has to share its space with a show off like the Sun. It seems lonely and sad. But I couldn't live without the moon either.

I woke up this morning before everyone else. I wondered down the hall, looking for something. I found nothing, but a pen and paper. Almost as if someone had left it there for me. There was a banner above the archway into the kitchen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA

Who is Bella?

Yesterday, I found out that Bella is me. I forgot.

Does anyone outside of this place remember Bella. I can't seem to find her. I think she is lost.

I wonder if I, Isabella, went searching for Bella, would I find her? Would anyone miss me if I left?

I'm leaving today. I didn't tell anyone. I'm off to search for Bella. She must be somewhere.

I don't have much to take with me.

I think I found Bella. Just down there, in the waves crashing around the rocks. I can't reach her from here. I'll have to go down there. Go down and get her.

Who am I?

My name is Isabella Marie Swan.

I am seventeen years old.

My mother's name is Renee.

My father's name is Charlie.

I am an only child.

I used to live in Phoenix.

I now live in Forks.

I had a boyfriend.

I lost a lifetime.

I found Bella today.

_The body of 18 year old Isabella Marie Swan was found today, washed up on a beach in La Push, a Quileute reservation in the small town of Forks, Washington. She wandered from the State Mental Hospital four days ago, reported missing by her carer, Joanne Brookes. Workers at the hospital say she had been a bright girl, but was introverted and reclusive, often unpredictable. Her father, Charlie Swan, chief of police in Forks, told reporters that he had her committed after an attempted suicide. Authorities believe that Miss Swan jumped to her death from a nearby cliff, where they found a journal documenting her last few weeks in the hospital. She will be sorely missed by all who knew and loved her. _

_Anonymous_


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